Wednesday, June 20, 2012

a visit from hawk

when i asked for a sign, i didn't think it would look me in the eye.  literally.

remember this post that i wrote this past friday?  on how i was asking for a sign, any sign to let me know my dreams would be realized?

well, it literally looked me right in the eye on our way home from our fathers day in Lewiston, NY,  just over the canadian border. 

we waited in the customs line for 2 1/2 hours in total.  we have NEVER had to wait that long.  ever.  but i noticed the closer we'd move up the line, the more birds i saw flying overhead.  most were seagulls, but i did notice a hawk.  i could tell it was a hawk because of it's characteristic soaring and hovering in circles.  but then there were two more that came along.  the three hawks above us circling, and circling, and circling.  i didn't think too much, as we were by the lake and just figured they were there to swoop down and catch some fish - or do whatever it is that hawks do.  the whole time in my head i was thinking, every hawk i encounter can't all be possibly trying to tell me something.  or could they? 

as we moved closer, i now counted 7 hawks.  all of them soaring, hovering, and taking their turn coming down lower and then back up.  at this point, not only did i notice them, but so did my husband and little girl.  we sat there watching them in awe.  and in my head i was thinking, hmmm, the numbers 3, 5 and 7 seem to appear to me these days.

then as we moved ever further up the line, and essentially closer to the hawks and seagulls, all of a sudden, out of the blue, one of the hawks comes swooping down, and i swear to honest to goodness, we screamed because we thought it was going to fly right into our car window and crash into us.  it felt like he stood there for just a nano-second looking into my eyes.  face to face.  eye to eye.  looking at me with those orangey-yellow'ish eyes, and his white chest and his WIDE, HUGE wing span....  and then as soon as he swooped down, he swooped back up leaving us, literally, breathless. 

and then today.  today,  we lost a very dear and close family friend.  a very very sad day for us. 

all this to say - to realize that

i have all that i need.  and it is more than enough.
i am all that i am.  and it is enough.
this is it.  nothing more required. 
mindfulness, and daily gratitude must be my daily practice. 
this is it.  this moment.  this very second. 
joy, the purest of joys is found in those moments in those very seconds of gratitude, not in the things we have or hope to get. 

it was a rude awakening.  thanks hawk for looking me in the eye.  for the reminder.  it was exactly what i needed.

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