Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hawk Totem

(image taken from google HAWK search - author unknown)

through the guidance one very incredibly talented wise woman and her guidance in her soulodge, i've become AWARE of my animal totem.  it's been the most interesting thing i've yet ever discovered.  so much more learning to do, and hoping to take her fall online course to further delve into the world of animal spirit guides.  here's how it all unfolded, between us:


Pixie, i really need your feedback, cause i'm feeling kinda crazy at the moment!!

i went into journey last night, and i'm in shock with what i came out with. a good shock. it was exhilerating. i just wanted to thank you for this experience, and at the same time i think i need some consolation that i am indeed not going crazy.... lol.

i just wanted to share a little bit of what i experienced... my totem is HAWK. it's HAWK. it was the only one to come to me. it was like it was waiting for me... patiently waiting... and funny thing is, i live in toronto canada, and i don't even think we have any hawks in the city. i don't know what a hawk looks like nor have i ever seen one in real life (that i know of). and what astounds me is that i immediately knew it was HAWK, and not eagle, or falcon, or whatever. it was HAWK. could it be?

what was even more incredible, was i became HAWK even before he presented himself to me. i was in my 'forest', my happy place by the fairy tree, and i went into the little opening in the tree, and found myself in blackness. wasn't sure where i was or what i was going to see.. when all of a sudden i could feel myself floating in the air. it startled me at first. but i kept on and before i knew it, i was up in the sky looking down into a beautiful wide open field of yellow wild flowers.. i was HAWK, i had wings and i was flying, and i had taloned feet. i then landed and was me again, and that's when HAWK appeared from above. watching me. and then flew off and i followed him with my eyes until i couldn't see him anymore. i wandered a bit not sure of what to do with myself, when HAWK came back and beckoned me with his eyes to follow him. he had these reddish/brown sparkling eyes. i followed and again it was like i went through to another portal, and this time i found myself in a very desolate, dry, windy, barren desert. the earth below me was dry and cracked, void of any life. the wind was howling and blowing wildly. i was naked. bare naked. all i could do was get down onto the ground. i found myself in a fetal position. not scared. not hurt. not anything. i just was. surrendering. HAWK was above me circling and circling and circling in the sky watching, protecting me.

ok. now that you think (and frankly i think) that i've gone completely crazy.

next thing i know i'm following HAWK back through the portal. i swear he was smiling. i swear it was like he was saying, 'it's about time', and led me back to the portal, back to my fairy house in the tree, back to the woods, and ultimately back to myself.

how did i manage to conjure all that up? am i just making this up? is it real? what do i do with this now? i feel excited, yet i must admit i think i'm feeling like 'ok, i am crazy, what am i doing?'

i guess i need to do this again, and see what happens. if HAWK comes back to me. gawd. i'd love your feedback if you have time.. and damn so wish i had talked to you at squam. but i guess i was feeling a little shy and awkward.




Ha ha! I'm laughing and crying and covered in goosebumps! I will write in depth later. My darling, you are NOT crazy. You are in touch with your primitive "all that is". I am so happy for you! It's like giving birth to yourself, isn't it?!


Warmly and more soon,



pixie! i'm crying just reading your message. giving birth to myself. holy c**&&^!

i've never felt so 'awake' in all my life.

funny thing, now that i think about it. the whole time i was at squam, and during my wanderings in the woods, my eyes and head were always looking up. like i was looking for something. i even used my iphone and video taped up to the sky and up towards the trees. and what's giving me the chills as i type this, i did hear one very loud 'rwaaaa', don't know if it was a HAWK since i've never heard one. but i now know it was.

thank you wise woman xoxx, you don't know HOW MUCH this means to me.
so peeps, needless to say, i've been doing much research on journey work, crystals, and smudging, and medicine bundles, and getting in touch with spirit.  thanks beautiful pixie!!! 
francesca xoxx


Michelle Shopped said...

y'know, there are lotsa hawks in my neck of the woods -- am always seeing them and they are usually circling alone and high above and i always wonder what they see below that i can't...

Francesca Di Leo said...

Oh girl. They are wiser than you can imagine. Listen closely and they'll guide you to the answers. Xoxx

Susie said...

Francesca, I read your recent post and I totally could understand your excitement and awe. Transformation can be an amazing process but it can be just a wee bit frightening too, equal parts exhilaration, wonder, and OMG what is happening to me? I hope you continue to have break throughs and discoveries. I wish you nothing but the very best and am always touched by your amazing artwork. I am glad we met up in Misty's on line workshop. Now I just need to find more time to paint. Journal making helps pay the bills so for now I am just content doing that. But i have so many ideas swirling around in my head for paintings.

Francesca Di Leo said...

Hi Susie! I always love finding a meassage from you - they always make me smile.

your journal making is just gorgous... and have even inspired me to create more of my own... did you take the other class by maryanne, FTB? i'm dying to know what it's like compared to the ROD class. would love your input. xoxxx

Anne-Marie said...

Hi Francesca, Hawk is my animal too and I have had some powerful dreams and guidance from her. I keep one of Pixie's hawk medicine bundles in my studio at all times. Here in New Zealand hawk is called kahu [pronounced KAH-hoo] and she is seen just about every where, hovering silently with her bold eye. For me, hawk is a symbol of focus, courage and following one's true path. Good luck!

carlanda brown williamson said...

oh frannie, have you read david carson's book? i have the medicine cards, and the book and have had a private reading with him. i have owl and hawk medicine. will have to look up the others in my book! you are great! xoxo and yes, i smudge too.

Tina said...

Beautiful*****Thank you for sharing. Hawk is also one of my totems. Always comes when I get discouraged-as Hawk sees the big picture (while mouse only sees details and does not quite understand why is being led to take care of the details). Hawk comes to me in physical during day-several time brush my cheek with her wing to get my attention. Last night she came in my dreams-YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!
Peace n Love to my sister Hawk-
Tina, AKA Earth Medicine Woman