me at work (iphone, instagram app.)i've been having all kinds of dreams lately. good dreams. dreams that are new to me which are catching me off guard. i'm feeling a shift in my heart and mind with regards to my children, my home, the way we live our life. this is going to come out all garbled because i haven't had much time to process it all... and if you know me, i need to dwell and process things before i can make any sense out of them.
i'm starting to think this is what a mid-life crisis feels like.
i have dreams of no longer living in the city. i want a quiet life on a farm in the outskirts of the city, with a couple of free roaming chickens, a pig, and hey maybe even a goat or sheep.
i have dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. i want to pick my children up from school, and make their lunches. i no longer want to have to worry about daycare, and nannies and wonder what they're doing at any time of the day. are they being loved, are they being cared for, are they having fun, have they eaten.
i'm feeling emotional and kinda-wobbly and kinda-off-kilter, for lack of better words. my compass is skewed and i'm not really sure if i should make that left turn. or if it'll make any difference.
all this emotion. why? sparked by a new search for a nanny. our beloved dearhearts daycare is closing and the fear of making the 'wrong' choice, or better yet, the pressure to make the 'right' choice.