Sunday, December 13, 2009

Mondo Beyondo Journal

This is me. 38 year old me. Today, with all my perfect imperfections, I look out the window and wonder what the new year has in store for me. I look forward with bright eyes, and a hopeful heart, and an open mind to what is yet to come. I've honoured the year 2009 and bid it adieu. I've made peace with what I wasn't happy with, and rejoice in all the good that happened. I look forward to a new year, a new start, and more time and opportunities to dream, and to bring dreams to fruition.

As the new year comes, my head is afloat and bursting with ideas and dreams, and things that I want to do; places I want to go; people I want to meet; and so many fears I want to deflate. Mondo Beyondo, here I come.

I'm getting more and more excited about this. And I believe there is going to be a lot of journaling and introspection in this course. To be prepared and inspired to write I've created a journal for myself. I had some pages left over from a previous course and decided to use those, and further embellished. This is what I'll be using this:

Thanks to Andrea Scher, here is my completion ritual for 2009:

1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2009?

For giving myself the opportunity to spend two full years with my children and watch them grow. For becoming a better mom, a more relaxed mom and learning and still learning to just enjoy the every moment. For having the courage to make the decision to go back to my career. It's made me a better mom. For taking the plunge into art and not being afraid to show it off. For the courage to finally call myself an artist. There I've said it. I'm a scrapbooker, mixed-media artist.

2. What is there to grieve about 2009?
Although I rejoice in going back to work, I grieve being the SAHM. It's a conundrum. What I have one I miss the other. There's no middle ground for me. I have to find more of a balance between the two. Part-time work? Financially, not possible.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
I've had a good year. A learning experience. I am thankful for 2009, and yet excited to see it go, and for the start of a fresh new year.

I declare 2009 complete!

As I stand up, I proclaim 2010 my year of :

1) Artistic Growth: of growing and expanding my artistic knowledge in breadth and scope; of attending Artfest and Journalfest and any other 'fest' I can get my hands on!!

2) Deconstruct and Reconstruct ME: finding ME again. I want to find me again. I somehow lost myself in 'mommydom'. My sister said to me the other day, "go fix that hair and buy yourself some new clothes". And indeed, she's right. I want to find me again. Back to my funky shoes, and eclectic wear. No more of these 'mommy' clothes re: khakis and tshirts. No offence to mom's, but what I mean is no longer just running out the door not giving a heck about what I look like and getting rid of the attitude and excuse of "I have two kids I don't have time for me". No more shirts with stains on them, no more ponytails; but a new and improved 'me'. One that's happy to take photos of myself; of looking forward to getting dressed up in the morning and liking what I see in the mirror. Ya know what I mean?

This is the year of ME.


1 comment:

Paula Phillips said...

Here, here!
Stunning art journal! I can't wait to see how you fill it.